Connecting With Your Partner

By freddielaraThoughts

Connecting With Your Partner

In my class, at some point in the opening warmups (which by the way are set up to methodically strip away the tension, baggage, meanings, stress, unfocused energy and thinking that keeps you from being fully present) , in the warmup we usually end with finding a partner and looking into each others eyes. This exercise is what I call “integrating the connection”. You look deeply into each others eyes for an amount of time that allows the discomfort of vulnerability and nakedness to pass. I can usually see some of my students twitching and having some nervous discomfort until eventually that too begins to fall away.

Prior to that we spend some time clearing away any judgement or opinion or even preference, we strip away the meanings we have put on things and show up cleared of all expectation.

There’s nothing that separates you more from others than resentment, judgement, opinions and preferences. Through meditation we begin to clear our mind of all those things and we show up completely clear of any added meaning they may have brought along with them for themselves and others.

When this is done they can stand before their partner and look very deeply into each other and see the basic humanness (that is the basic goodness and sameness) that we share with all humanity . In this way they can allow themselves to stand naked before each other and go deep into each other without fear or the need to guard themselves from each other.

So many of us walk around feeling less-than or isolated from the rest of humanity. Because there is really only one of us here when we judge someone, no matter how minutely, we may feel the pleasure of righteous anger or superiority, but eventually it boomerangs on us and we are the ones who feel judged. Which in turn makes us feel less-than or angry at others. Remember the judger always feels judged. The lover always feels loved.

So the best way to feel perfectly comfortable being vulnerable on the set or onstage, especially with people you have to act like you’ve know for years but just met two hours ago, is to release your judgement.

Practicing this muscle shouldn’t just happen when you show up for work. To get real and lasting benefit we must practice this, as challenging as it is, on a daily basis, on the street, grocery store or even more challenging with our family and ex’s.

This practice will allow you to feel comfortable in any situation you walk into. But more importantly you will be able to look deeply into your scene partners eyes and connect on a level that the camera will surely catch.

Ours is not the business of judging anyone, otherwise we put a block up from playing anyone. So clear your mind of judgement , at least start the practice of trying to, and see how much more able you are to feel comfortable in your own skin, and how much more you will be able to be present in the moment with your partners and how much deeper your acting can be.. I know it’s challenging but give yourself the gift of non judgement and reap the benefits of vulnerability and depth and presence.