Tearing Down The Wall

By freddielaraThoughts

Tearing Down The Wall

I just finished reading Jennifer Hadley’s blog post (JenniferHadley.com) and I
was inspired to write this today. If u see some similarities that’s because
there are! She has inspired and been there for me this past year like the
amazing friend that she is.

So on to my own blogging.

In our work we are expected to create deep and meaningful connections in a
matter of moments, whether we are doing a play or an audition, the relationships
we create have to be believable in just a few weeks, days or sometimes, in an
agent or casting director call, in just a few moments.

I remember sitting across from an actor in Miami once and thinking “this guy (or
girl, I can’t remember now) has no acting chops to speak of, he’s an idiot”. And
I remember thinking this as I was trying to create an imagined relationship with
him that had spanned for years. Well, needless to say I didn’t get that part. I
had spent my time in my head judging his acting skills instead of really trying
to connect. Because that’s what judgement does you see. It actually creates
separation rather than connection.

Resentment, judgement, criticism, fear, and all the rest of the egos weaponry
are designed to do exactly that. Even if it’s directed at ourselves!! It’s no
accident of course that the Greek definition for ego is “the small separated
self”. Anything the ego can find to seperate you from others is it’s job.
Anything to keep you from realizing the at-one-ment with all things is what it’s
goal is.

In a letter to great artist Martha Graham, Agnes De’mille wrote this;

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.

If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
not how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours,
clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than others”

By allowing our egos to judge, criticize or hold resentments we block ourselves
not only from others we are trying to create relationships with, but we even
begin to cut ourselves off from ourselves (I’m picturing Gollum from The Lord of
the Rings here) and eventually from our highest creative outflow.

So begin tearing down that wall by noticing your thought life and the way the
ego seeks to seperate you from others. Let it become part of your acting
technique to release the thoughts that seek to create distance instead of
closeness. It will, in time with practice, become a useful and valuable tool
that will help you create deep and connected relationships on and off stage and
screen. And with your mind quiet of these negative aspects of the ego who knows
what you might actually find. By tearing down that wall you may find a friend, a
lover, your higher self or maybe even a rush of creativity that will wash over
you and your work like a cleansing flood. Enough to fill not only you but the
thirsty masses we call an audience. Enough to not only illuminate humanity
through your work but also maybe to shine a light or give some hope or direction
to those watching be present instead of in your head -Olay! Olay! Bravo!